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Riding The Waves

My current location now is Jakarta. I got let go from my retail job and had no other reason to stay in California. I am happy to see my family, but there is always the nagging realization that I am not financially independent yet and still have to depend on my parents.

Well, I am grateful I have my parents or I would be homeless by now. Thank God for His blessings and grace. I am casually looking for a lab technician jobs in Jakarta and Australia. Who knows what the future will bring? Praying, trying to look for a job, and remaining flexible are the three things I can do right now. I am also considering a career change to computer programmer. Of course, this requires more schooling and I don't want to go back to school. heheeeee.

I don't know what in store for me. I'm going to relax and let God lead the way.

Working Life

I have been working in retail for a month. Oh, how I long to use my brain, instead of my body. Seven hours of standing is definitely challenging my body and the stress of cashier work is making me eat. But despite of all of my complains, I am grateful God has given me the chance to be able to work and earn some money. Since this is a temporary holiday job, I am anxious to know if the manager will continue to hire me or let me go. After Christmas my working hours are reduced and all I can say is Hallelujah. I am planning to use my extra time to clean my house, go to the library, and go to the gym.

I definitely want to use my time to review some analytical chemistry and apply for a chemistry position. I hope this is God's plan. Dear God, forget the request for a boyfriend, being able to support myself doing something I love, is one of the ultimate goal for me. I also want to review my math, german, and my English grammar. I have to learn how to concentrate again. I get distracted so easily now a days. I miss my family, but I can't go back to my country. I want to try to stand on my own.

Even though I don't know where to go, I know I will always have God's guidance and love. In high school and through college I had been so driven to achieve my goals, which were to graduate from high school and university. Now I have graduated, I don't know what to do. Some people are blessed enough to meet somebody in their educational career and they added new goals in their lives. Their new goals are to take care of their spouses and raise their children. These goals will keep them busy for a lifetime. I wish I have these goals that will keep me busy and give me something to worry about. Then again I always remember that God wants me to be thankful for what I have. I have a big, wonderful family, shelter, food, and my health. Thank you God.

Sean

You can always make me laugh.

Unemployment

It's been about a month and a half now since my graduation. There has only been a few openings for entry level chemist.
I have been thinking about what to do if working as a chemist is not an option. I could work at the bookstores or retails.
As I work, I could also pursue a master in chemistry. I do love to work in the lab. One of the master program, which I found to be tuition free, is USF (University in San Francisco). There are more probably, but I need to research them. I also need to get ready for GRE.

I thought by working hard in school, I am guaranteed a job, but now I know that is not the case. I am not going to give up.
I am going to keep trying. Who knows, what adventure this life will bring. I got to keep the faith that God loves me and have great things in store for me.

Days after Graduation

I'm enjoying my avatar-like backyard. There's going to be a lot of chopping and mowing that needs to be done, but before that, it's time to eat breakfast and enjoy the sunshine and relax. Right now, I'm waiting for my grades from inorganic and physical chemistry lab class. I hope I pass my inorganic chemistry class. That's the only class I'm worried about. The next plans are to get a job and get into a master program. I'm already itching to buy a GRE book. This next week there will be a lot of moving from santa cruz back to my home. Thank you God for your awesome plans, the time to struggle and finally to succeed. I'm not officially finish yet with my bachelor degree until the grades are in, but I feel positive about it.

Zinc Blende

Face Centered Cubic (fcc)

Body Centered Cubic (bcc)

Skepticism

One of the outlook of life I got from high school, was skepticism. It started when we investigated the Bible as a piece of literature and not as the Word of God in an English class. "There were older stories similar to the Bible," my teacher said. Doubts and questions were the result after months of discussions. After that, whatever I read, whatever I learned, I'm not sure if they were absolutely right.

For years I have studied chemistry and I probably am half convinced of what I'm studying is true.
Well, there is one group that have been successful in taking a picture of a molecule:

single molecule

From the picture, I concluded, it is true what the textbooks are telling me. The skeptic in me could finally die a slow death.
What good is knowledge, when you are skeptical of it?

About Knowledge

As I learn new things about chemistry, the old concepts, like molarity, covalent bonds, and VSEPR are slipping away.
I know as a chemist I should know all these basic concepts. The key for me is to find ways to remind myself daily of what they are.
But there are so much things to know and my grey matter is not big enough. I'm going to try a few things, like making a list of definitions and try to review them everyday. I have an inorganic midterm next tuesday. I don't think I'm ready for it.

A Good Blog

I found this good blog about success and study skills:
http://calnewport.com/blog/

Thoughts Of A Chemist

Arrrgh...the rain will make my physical chemistry book wet.

Sunset UCSC 2009

So Close

I am going to be done with school around March 19, 2010. I will be graduating with Chemistry B.S. It's going to feel weird, because I don't really know how life is without school. Hopefully, God's plan is for me to work for a couple of years and then maybe get a master degree or a PhD. Or maybe go home to Indonesia for a couple of years and help my parents with their business and also spend time with friends and family. It's the end for one road and I'm not sure what is in store for me in the future, but I will always depend on God and not worry so much. But there are a couple of more things to do before I graduate, I have to type 15 pages of senior essay, pass my inorganic, and physical chemistry class. I have to stop the PG&E and Comcast a week before I move. It's so scary and yet I can't wait.

I'm reading the book "Game plan for life" by Joe Gibbs. I learned that I should enjoy my life, instead of just waiting for the next best thing. I was waiting to graduate. I am waiting to start a family. I am waiting to get a job. I am waiting to see my family again. At the end I will be waiting to retire and then maybe waiting to have grandchildren. No more waiting for me, I got to enjoy the present. Life moves so fast.

Question Of The Day

What is the Bohr exciton diameter?

Website for Christian Music

http://www.newreleasetuesday.com/

Cooking

I definitely improved my cooking skills since I live in my apartment by myself. I feel like I am more in touch of what I am capable of creating in the kitchen. Well, most of the time my stomach left me with no choice, but to improvise a meal from whatever I have in the fridge. Foods from the freezer isles at Trader Joe's I admit also help me to whip up something quick after my classes.
An example of this is my Indonesia Fried Rice package. I am waiting for the rendang version. :)

Food

I have been trying to cook for myself and my brothers. Cooking is definitely not a natural talent for me. I had a couple of dishes, which received a thumbs down from my brothers. But at least my broccoli/cauliflower dish and my fried rice were eaten. I always encourage myself by thinking about cooking as a list of procedures:

1. Pick a good recipe.
2. Gather the ingredients.
3. Follow the recipe closely.
4. Taste.

Practice is also important in cooking. Maybe one day I could cook without a recipe.

More Songs I Have Discovered Today

"Revelation Song" by Phillips, Craig and Dean
"Smiling Down" by Pillar

Songs I Have Discovered Today

"Hope Now" by Addison Road
"Myspace Girl" by The Afters
"Can't Take Away" by Mikeschair
"Beautifully Broken" by The Beautiful Republic
"Lead Me to The Cross" by Chris and Conrad
"Drown" by Chosen
"Closer To Love" by Mat Kearney
"All Along" by Remedy
"Take Me As I Am" by FM Static
"By Your Side" by Tenth Avenue North

Time

I can't believe a year has gone by. I felt like, it was last month I was in Indonesia. I am spending so much time for school. If I was married and have a baby for each year in college, I would have a total of six babies already. Aiii.

Sean is tired, but happy

Park Behind My House

My dog

Enjoying Flowers

Finish 2009 Finals

Yayy...thank you God. I will be enjoying spring break soon with my family.

Two more finals

I am convincing myself that I can do good on the tests tomorrow. I think an important key in taking a test is to have confidence in your ability to solve problems. And also the believe that with God nothing is impossible. Of course another key is to do the actual studying, which I am not doing right now. Ahhhhh

After Bachelor Degree

In two weeks, it will be the end of my winter quarter. I am excited, because I could smell the end of my chemistry requirements. But the big question is, what will I do after I get my bachelor degree next year? Will I work? Will I go to Graduate school? Do I want to continue to Nursing School? or Physician assistant school? I am just confuse. But I am learning to put my trust in God and I know God is guiding me and helping me to make the right decisions. For now, I need to study for finals. :)

Samuel Merrit Physician Assistant Program

http://www.samuelmerritt.edu/physician_assistant

UCSF

http://www.ucsf.edu/

Golden Gate University

http://www.ggu.edu/

Santa Cruz Ocean Winter 2009

Santa Cruz Ocean Winter 2009

Santa Cruz Wharf 2009

Santa Cruz Wharf 2009

Santa Cruz Wharf 2009

Santa Cruz Wharf 2009

A Very Bad Plan

I planned to do laundry and study thermodynamics today.
Today, the sun is shinning, the weather is hot,
and the beach is calling me.
Why oh why I planned to study in the weekend.
It's a four day weekend too.
Now I am stuck waiting for my laundry.
My heart refused to be here.
I want to go outside and maybe have an adventure.

I can't even concentrate studying,
because I want to get out from my room.
It would be much better if I study during the weekdays
and go out during the weekends.
ah I guess I am not so nerdy.

Thank you Lord

Thank you for the blue sky.
Thank you for my family and friends.
Thank you for the lazy days.

Winter Break 2008

I'm enjoying my winter break by staying up late, watching TV, and chatting with my mom. It's kind of good to have nothing to do for the day. But I noticed that my mind found something else to be preoccupied with. I found myself thinking and worrying about other people. I need to stop being other people's mom and stop trying to fix them. I need to just worry about myself. I don't want to waste my energy dwelling on other people's bad habits that annoys me. I guess I need to stop being in control and surrender all things to God. I guess my mind can't just stop thinking. It has to have something to think about. Today, I'll give my brain a good dose of physical chemistry, so it will stop meddling on other people's personality and what they do. I can't change them anyway. Ahhhhhhhh overactive brain....it must be because of the extra sugar and ice cream I ate hehehehe.

Right Now

Right now...I'm watching a movie with my brother and his friends. It's so good to be home again. Now my challenge is to use my winter break to build myself up and not tear myself down. I would be building myself up by working out and getting ahead on my reading for next quarter. I would be tearing myself down by having a bad sleeping habit and playing too many games. I also need to figure out how can I get some pharmacy experience. I need it to get into pharmacy school. I hope God will open a door for me.

Fall 2008

A reason to be happy:

I'm done with my finals.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

Here I am

Here I am

alive
and studying physical chemistry.

why Lord?
why?

I could complain.
Or I could be thankful
that You have given me this chance
to study, to learn, and to understand.

Thank you Lord.

Thanksgiving

Two more days until thanksgiving break. I'm so happy, yet I know this break will be the calm before the storm. After the break I only have one more week to prepare for the finals. Thus, my plan is to study physical chemistry, biology, and advance organic chemistry. I'll study in between eating turkey and mashed potato.

UCSC November 2008

Balance

One thing I learn from this fall quarter is balance. I know I need to do my best in my studies. But I can't just abandon exercising, getting a good amount of sleep, and going out to have fun. As a result I am burnt out. My fears always get the best of me. Now, I am worrying, If I will be able to get a job after college. I think I should worry more about graduating. I still have upper division classes I have to take. And I am asking God to put my heart into what I'm doing again.

Physical chemistry

I think I need God's grace to pass physical chemistry. Help me Lord...huhuhu

I miss you

I miss oma and opa bun. Can a few weeks make up for nine years of absent? I wish I could live in two places at once. Indonesia and America are equally important for me. Both are irreplaceable. One signifies the beginning and the second signifies hope. While I'm in America, I wish things would stay the same in Indonesia. I'll be alright, because I know God has already planned my life. And He knows the best things for me.

I'm back in Santa Cruz

Take me back to Bali

Bali 2008

Borobudur 2008

Borobudur 2008

Singapore 2008

Buildings + Trees

Jakarta 2008

After nine years I have started to eat jambu and salak again...hehehe

San Francisco beach

Golf

UCSC Spring 2008

After being a nerd for 3 months, I got A for Biochemistry, Music, and Chemistry lab....hahahaha

UCSC Spring 2008

UCSC Spring 2008

UCSC Spring 2008

I can't part with....

I can't part with my textbooks. Ah, it is lame. Right now my bedroom looks like a library and more textbooks from this year coming soon. More school to come. I know I should be happy to have the chance to go to school, but I want to make money to. I can't burden my dad forever.

Now

This is the part, where you refuse to give up.

UCSC Spring 2008

No turning back now

I'm definitely going

It's sunday, but I am going to the library to study

UCSC Winter 2008

My dog

Downtown Santa Cruz February 9, 2008

Downtown Santa Cruz February 9, 2008

Downtown Santa Cruz February 9, 2008

This place is my favorite place, because it has books and a public bathroom, which I am grateful for.

Downtown Santa Cruz February 9, 2008

Downtown Santa Cruz February 9, 2008